Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
