I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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