Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
