Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
