I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
