I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
