so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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