woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
