At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
