Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We just shotgunned beers for America
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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