I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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