You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
