Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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