I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
