i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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