ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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