i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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