Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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