i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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