And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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