The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
