I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
