Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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