i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
