Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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