I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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