Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
