Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
