I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
