Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize