I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
