sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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