i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
