I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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