Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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