Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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