Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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