woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
