yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The uberlube is also flammable
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
