You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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