her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
