we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The ass gains better be worth it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
