i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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