I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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