wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
