the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
