I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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