how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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