so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
