I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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