the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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