tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
