I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
