But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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