You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
