If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
