it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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