He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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