mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize