turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
