He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
